"Why?"

Wow!! What a hectic past few weeks. As I sit here typing, my thoughts are all in a jumble at what God has allowed us to go through. From children's doctor's appointments to spiritual warfare on our ministry and family I stand in amazement of it all. How is it that when we are right where we are supposed to be (in the center of God's will) does He allow the firy darts of the evil one to catch us sometimes? After much crying and asking the question "Why?" God responded: "Why not you?" Just because we are children of God doesn't exempt us from being attacked from Satan, AND don't be surprised at who he uses. Sometimes it those that you have poured your heart, love and soul into. One of the things I have learned is that when we are attacked we need to be as close to the Master as possible....HE controls which arrows strike and even when they do strike He is there with us to help us through each circumstance. I am so loved by my Papa....my Daddy God...and I know that when those darts come He is waiting for me to say "Daddy take care of this for me." A lot of times those darts are allowed to see how much we have grown in our spiritual walk. Are we going to turn it over to Him, OR are we going to try to handle it? I have been so tired here lately and I am trying to the hardest of my ability to say and do: "Papa, here it is take it..." Through those difficult circumstances are the opportunities to grow in our walk, to show others WHO God really is, and for God to be glorified. I want God to be glorified so much in my life. I want my kids that when they get older and are attacked by the evil one to look back and say "You know when mom and dad went through a similar situation this is what they did and God did miraculous things through their sacrifice, standing firm and just being obedient to what God wanted them to do." This is what I want....to be a reflection/testimony of my Jesus. I will leave you with a few of my favorite verses. Remember God loves you and is always with us....in the good and the bad times.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."    
                                                                                              James 1:2-4

"...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;..."     Isaiah 43:1b - 3a

Musings from the weekend

God is so good and faithful!! Over the weekend Tim attended the Walk to Emmaus. He went very reluctant to go and came back a very changed man. A man with a new purpose to serve God better and with a commitment to be a better husband and father. I am so blessed to have a husband whose heart's desire is to be, to the best of his ability, the best that he is able in order to be used for God's glory. In 2 weeks I will be attending the Walk to Emmaus. I am so excited. I am wanting to meet God on a different level and be more effective on the home front and in ministry. Over the past few months I have felt that God has been preparing our family for something. What? I don't know....what I do know the safest most effective place to be is in the palm of His hand (the center of His will). God is doing great and mighty things in our family and in our different ministries. I am so thankful and honored to be doing His work in the place where He has called me. My heart's desire is to be where He is.....right now He is working at Good News Mission in the low income housing and surrounding areas. If you remember anything remember this....God is good and faithful and He is always near.....He never leaves us and He loves us so much.

Struggles

What a time it has been over the last few weeks!! Our 9 year old Joshua has been such a pill....poor thing. We are in the midst of changing his meds and it has been a very challenging and frustrating process. There are times Tim and I get so frustrated and discouraged and wonder why? God tells us "Why not you?" There are occasions it would be so nice to have "normal" children, but define normal? Normal to me would be not having to take children into therapy 3 times a week, having multiple melt downs in one day, having to try to stay a step of head of children who are to smart for their own good...LOL..., not having to worry about what medicines will or will not work and are the side effects really worth the worry or wondering. Trying to explain behavior outburst to people who really don't understand and them thinking that you are lazy or not a good parent, hearing the comments from people "if he were mine I would just spank him." But then I look back and see the blessings in the not being so normal. The rides into therapy and hearing my children sing Jesus songs. Hearing my 9 year old speak a deep spiritual insight way beyond even an adults understanding of Jesus and who He is. Having the quality time with my children and getting to know what is on their hearts on those long trips to Vanderbilt, doctor's appointments and therapies. Praying with them as we go down the road and teaching them to love each other despite their different personalities... the way that God loves us. I have come to the conclusion that if for no other reason God gave me "un-normal" children but to keep me on my knees then I am blessed. God has been so good and faithful to us and He has given us the perseverance and strength to parent 3 very distinctive children. One of my favorite Psalms is 34. The first verse says "I will praise (thank) the Lord at all times. My lips will always praise him." I praise Him for loving me enough in giving me 3 beautiful and wonderful boys that He is using for His glory.

CBS - Community Bible Study

Community Bible Study (CBS) is a non denominational indepth Bible study in which a group of women come together and go over questions from the weekly lessons. With the Holy Spirt leading us women share what He has taught us in our individual study times over these questions. CBS uses what they call the four part method. This includes: personal study, Core group discussion facilitated by a trained leader, a Lecture covering the passage of scripture, and a written commentary that reviews and clarifies the passage. (Four part method taken directly from the letter written by Dotty Larson in our Acts study book). We are studying the book of Acts this year and I am so excited to learn and discover new things. With the diversity of the women who attend we set aside doctrine and denominations and in unity learn more about Jesus. One of the great aspects about CBS is the children's ministry. My husband and I homeschool our boys and CBS has classes from birth through high shcool. My children love the CBS children's program. My two oldest children do the same lessons I do but they are broken down to their level. My kids and I often do our lessons together which makes for good quality time for all of us. We have wonderful children's teachers who go above and beyond the call of duty just so that mothers can have that quality time in their core groups and lecture. I have been so blessed to find a Bible study that ministers to my whole family. The stated mission of CBS is "to make disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ in our communities through caring, in depth Bible study, available to all." CBS has fulfilled the desire of our family to learn more about Christ and to do it in a safe, loving and Holy Spirit lead way. I encourage you that if you are looking for an in depth Bible study with a precious group of women and an excellent childrens program to find one in your area. You will be blessed and will learn more about the Holy Spirit, yourself and your Bible. May God richly bless you as you serve, seek and be where God has placed you. God is faithful!!

 http://www.communitybiblestudy.org/

Reflections

Looking back over my life I think about all the things that I have gone through and how God allowed those things in my life to prepare me for something later down the road. Today I am a 39 year old mom with 3 very distinctive and wonderful boys. I can remember at the age of 18 graduating from high school not knowing what I wanted to do with my life and heading off to a Christian camp in the beautiful area of Livingston, TN. There my life changed and God implanted in me the desire to go into ministry...AND somehow involved in that ministry would be working with special needs children. Little did I know that those special needs children would be my own along with other special blessings. At this camp I found the meaning of ministry....people. I found out that some times ministry isn't all it is cracked up to be in an earthly perspective. People treat you bad, take advantage, lie about you, falsely accuse you, gossip about you, persecute you and so on. Then there are the blessings....you find out who your true friends are in the midst of all these trials, God shows up in ways that you least expect and you see just how blessed you truly are. Yes there is truth in that old hymn "Count your blessings name them one by one...see what God has done..." Your focus is taken off your circumstance and placed on Jesus. In the here and now I find myself wearing different hats of ministry and in the family. I have 3 boys John Allen 14, Joshua 9, and Jacob 4. Three days a week finds us in Cookeville attending different therapies. Joshua has been diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's (high functioning autism) and sensory issues. Jacob has been diagnosed with speech problems and is developmentally delayed. We are in the process of having more test done at Vanderbilt in Nashville, Tn. Along with family I have a group of ladies that in my pridefullness I thought I was ministering to them. Come to find out they ministered to me. I have learned so much from them and one thing I learned was that people are dear to God's heart. Being genuine goes a long way and trust is hard earned. I love my family and the different ministries that He has given us. God has been so good and faithful through the years and I am honored to be an instrument God uses for His glory in family and in ministry. Our heart's desire is for God to use our boys in great ways for His glory and to use my husband Tim and I to tell others about Jesus and just how good and faithful He is.

My first attempt at blogging

This is my first attempt at blogging. My husband Tim has been blogging for a while now and has suggested numerous times that I should start a blog....well here it is!!! Tim helped me get started and said that he would send some of his blogging traffic my way....people may not want to read what I have to say...LOL...oh well. Be patient with me as I try to get used to this new aspect of the cyber world. Praying everyone has a wonderful day. I will probably post more later as I get used to this program. Blessings and remember who holds you in the palm of His hand...